Savior complex in dating
I nodded along to his stories as I took bites of my pasta, methodically peppering him with questions while revealing very little about myself.
Although I was technically there, I couldn’t force myself to actually show up for that date.
I appreciate the way my friend Mike boosts his girlfriend Jordan's sense of independence during an incredibly busy time in her life.
I like the way my best friend’s boyfriend makes an effort to engage in her life, with her friends and her interests.
They were deep and perplexing, enticing since I loved a challenge.
I believed them, because there wasn’t another option; their behavior was all I knew, and everything I was conditioned to cope with. These friends built me up, and they never packed drama.
It’s easy to get sucked in by articulate charmers, especially if you have somewhat of a “fix it” or savior complex; Even after the breakup, you want to see true change in the person. When I’d kindly but firmly decline his invitation for dinner or coffee, as I always did, he’d find ways to press buttons that made me hurt all over again.
One moment, it was “you were the best girlfriend I’ve ever been with,” and the next “we were never really together.” I’d smile, tell him I wished him well, and bite back the floodgates.
I subconsciously started to recognize how exhausted I was.
Historically, I’d tossed my energy at whatever my whims desired, and these characteristics—charming, confident, successful, witty—usually depleted me of my otherwise healthy self-esteem.I always walked away feeling the weight of all the raw edges inside my body; wounds he’d cut open months before, aching and not yet healed.