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30-Jul-2020 05:06

You can tell more about a person in half an hour, than weeks of emailing. “It's always better to meet an online date sooner than later - it's too easy to message endlessly, and you need to find out whether you have chemistry off-screen before you down a flirty emoticon rabbit hole that could last for weeks or months,” she explains.

“Try not to message for more than two weeks, and if you're nervous, you could always speak on the phone first.

But the simple truth is that messaging on the internet is nothing more than a fact-finding mission.

You can gather information about the other person, but until you meet them you won’t know if ‘I love to laugh’ means Fawlty Towers or fart jokes. It’s easy to think you know a person better than you really do.

Those 17 to 23 days of messages are just the first chapter in your story. As the internet plays an ever greater part in our social lives, with sites such as Facebook helping us to keep in touch with our friends, it's inevitable that we also use it to help us run our love lives as well.

The vast majority of people using dating sites are sincere and honest in the information they provide and in their reasons for joining.

Thankfully, the window isn’t too terrifying (no one is saying that you have to slurp coffee in the first 24 hours).

No, according to American researchers, the tipping point comes between 17 and 23 days after the first message is sent.

What’s more, you have no way of telling which bits of information are true.

You can ‘get to know’ someone from behind the safety of a screen.

But a recent study by the University of South Florida suggests that – while a short period of messaging is fine – we actually shouldn’t wait too long to arrange a meeting.

Their first date was within that all-important window, of course (although he didn’t realise it at the time).

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Ramirez explained that it’s the point when “impressions and idealisations are at that peak, the most positive level that they'll be prior to meeting face to face.” Of course, there are many reasons to delay meeting a potential match.But in all likelihood, you’re probably going to have a drink with someone who just doesn’t do it for you. I recall a friend excitedly going off for a first date with a chap - ‘I just have a good feeling about this one, he’s an academic you know’ - only to discover he was a librarian who spent the entire meal talking about dust jackets.



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