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My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.

Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.

It's as if all our complainers, all our naysayers, all our insecurities got together and went into journalism.

I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.