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There are a lot of adult dating sites that don't have a lot of users, or use sneaky marketing tactics like the bait and switch you're referring to.
They may be sold to a different owner who uses different standards or may engage in some of those shady practices to boost membership and use. My first recommendation would be to try Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section; you sign up with them and then decide which of the three sections you want to be a part of (Dating, Relationships or Intimate Encounters).
They are a free dating site (free to contact) but they also give you the opportunity to upgrade your account.