Dating numbers game
How do you fight the idea that you'd have nothing to do with that person though?In my case I don't enjoy drinking and doing drugs and it's all that the girls around here are into.But I think the more important thing is that sometimes, the girls that I'm only "sort of" interested in turn out to be really cool, really interesting people that I can really bond with in the right context, and the whole point of dating is to provide those proper contexts for emotional connection.You know, sometimes you need to stir things a little bit before chemistry happens.I'm not going to want to go out doing that kind of thing with them and they're not going to want to not do so, thus I don't bother. I hope people won't get turned off by the length because it really tells the truth.Once I became less picky and started creating more opportunities, I had better relationships with women who were more compatible with me!Ex: wants a bunch of kids, is strongly religious, etc.Failed attempts at romance don't tend to transition back to friends that often, in spite of how cliched the "I think we should just be friends" line is in popular culture.
I thought that this meant I had "high standards." But once I "lowered my standards" and started dating women who had different hobbies and interests from me, I found that I actually had more in common with some people than I would have expected.I'm not saying that dating every girl is the same.In fact, one of the things that often appeals to me about certain women is that they tickle and surprise me in ways that I've never experienced with other women. Are there any cool stores nearby that we could check out after we finish eating? On any date there are of variables that are completely unrelated to the actual person you are dating, and you can reduce the amount of stress you experience during the date by minimizing the number of variables through practice and repetition.The thing is, I never would have discovered this if I hadn't broaded my horizons.
The only way to figure out what matters to you is through experience.In my younger years (high school and early college), I was a very discerning person, and I considered myself someone with "high standards." Dating was a rare occurrence for me, and though getting a long-term relationship was the goal I was focused on, I never dating a single girl for more than a couple months.