Bruce cameron 8 simple rules for dating my daughter dating com manila
He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter's suitors feel even worse. Is that because you're stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
I'd be embarrassed too--there are only eight of them, for crying out loud!
And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I'd have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules? Bruce Cameron is a nationally syndicated humor writer.
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.