Body language for women when dating
“Listening means being selfless and letting yourself be vulnerable, both of which are essential for a deep connection.”So what’s a socially awkward person who can’t stop thinking about what their body is doing on a first date to do?Well, unfortunately, the answer to that is a lot harder than any kind of dating “hack.” Ben says the key to great body language on a date is dealing with the root issue of why you feel awkward or self conscious.“That’s why I never focus on things like touch initially,” Ben says.(He also used to do push-ups to get the adrenaline pumping but I won’t judge you if you want to just stick to the fun music and power poses.)Thomas’ number one tip for body language on a first date is to “break the physical barrier,” which is dating coach-speak for “touch your date.” He points out that the biggest difference between friends and partners is physicality and that the way we touch a friend differs from the way we touch a romantic prospect. Simple: Hug.“You’re not here for a meeting,” Thomas tells Bustle.“You’re not shaking their hand.”Thomas thinks that opening with that kind of physical contact sets the tone for the rest of the date.Remember: It’s just as important to pay attention to your date’s signals as it is to communicate properly with your own body.Thomas has an acronym that he uses with his clients: SOLD — Smiling, Open Body Language, Leaning, Direction.“I teach my students a number of other listening, empathy, and self-confidence skills before we progress to external techniques.
But…You have to pay attention to notice them because many of them aren’t very clear.Both Thomas and Ben recommend “escalating physical contact” throughout the date — but Ben cautions that this kind of escalation has to be done really carefully and conscientiously.“Before you can escalate from ‘friend touching’ to ‘romantic touching,’ you need to ensure your date actually enjoys being touched by you,” Ben tells Bustle.“Every single time you get more intimate with the touching, it has to be based on acceptance, aka consent.Basically, keep a friendly face, an open body posture, and point your body toward your date.
It’s the kind of body language that we naturally adopt when we’re into someone, but Thomas’ knows that getting comfortable enough to automatically do these things can be really hard for people.“Practice until it becomes a habit,” Thomas says. Steph Curry doesn’t fake his three-point shots; he practices his three point shots.”Ben’s number one tip for body language on a first date was actually the most surprising: Forget about body language and just listen to your date.“The moment you focus on body language it means you're being self-centered — you're more concerned with your own inner voice or manipulating the situation to truly connect with your date,” Ben says.
All you have to do is stand like a superhero, hands on hips, for a couple of minutes. Professor Cuddy’s research showed that posing the body powerfully made people feel more confident going into high pressure situations like an interview, presentation — or date.